The wind is howling around my studio as I work. Presently taking a class at the Palette and Chisel in Portrait painting. Also working as a visiting artists for 2nd grade. Working on a film for spring. I had a show last spring that featured some animation...just playing around with concepts and ideas.( love my wacom and my studio set up) Moving forward and revising my long conversation I had. I hope this finds you well , happy and peaceful
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Today……Wednesday the 28th of April…….what a beautiful day. I slept very well for the first time in a long time. As you know I have that rotator cuff problem, it keeps me up at night but apparently I must have been exhausted, but also calm. Let me explain. You might want to get a coffee, tea , wine etc. but do come back. Calm oh yes….. yesterday after a morning of spinning and chatting at Starbucks my friend texted me that she had decided to paint at home instead of going into the city. I ran over dutifully as a faithful dog, sat in her big fluffy comfortable chair in her new studio and we began to go over all her previous nights work. Nanette is a power painter, just churning out the work, good stuff. I made an off-hand comment about myself ..negative and she took me to task, but you have to know that in our “E” meeting, during our critique, one of my fellow artists in the group proudly stated that she has figured out that my work is floundering around because I lack confidence…HMMMMM…...
4/15 Today's work.... On the porch .....I thought I was in a protected enough environment until the wind changed directions, in a blink, laying in my palette box was my painting. Being the same size as the box it fit quite well and did quite a wonderful job of picking up all the colors on my palette. I really should have taken a picture...... but was in panic mode......and once again I had to confront the demons that plague me. Faced again not only the elements but my own fears of inadquency and shame. Why.....don't know.......but I was once again reminded of a comment that I hear over and over again ." I can hardly wait to see what you will do when you finaly break loose." Thinking about this through out the rest of the day, I still don't have an answer, I might be getting closer to the truth.....It's not for lack of talent, it's all a mind game. So I'll continue to paint outdoors.
Went into my studio passed by the painting and decided it need something more. A glaze on the shell, definition on the grapes. signed it ready to dry to be looked and once again. At this point the peeled orange is almost petrified, the grapes well......soon to be raisins. Was a fun exercise. hope to go out tomorrow and paint the star magnolia in my yard. Weather looks a bit threatening so took some photos just in case I lose them over night.
Pontificating???? Cleaned out some blogs from my follow list this a.m. -- feeling a bit overwhelmed with life , spring really needs to make its presence known. I have a Rotator Cuff problem that is nagging me, forcing me to recognize what is important and what is not. Which are... #1 Family and relationships. #2 My Art Does that make me a bad artist? I think it makes me a better one, knowing what is important to me I'm able to bring those experiences into my work, but do I? No, I hold back. Why? I'm so easily distracted by outside forces making it difficult to come down to the truth. I would like to blame it on all kinds of different circumstances,what it boils down to is just me and my art, Nothing else, sure outside pressure , but I have to remain true to myself, its a battle both inside and out. I have lost sight and have taken many side roads, some beautiful and some very ugly. I do believe that most of the side trips will benefit me as a person and therefore my art. I fe...